![]() ![]() ![]() I sort of expected him to acknowledge it-especially given his film’s epic tiny peen monologue-but instead he just flipped me over and spanked me. It was probably the smallest I’d ever touched, with the unfortunate luck of being both short and slim. So we get into bed, and I move my hand down, and there it was-a baby carrot inside his tighty-whities. Our date turned out wonderful-he was funny, successful, hot, blah blah blah-the perfect guy. All of this was in the name of comedy, of course, but as everyone in the theater around me roared with laughter, I found myself thinking: Only a man who actually has a microscopic dick would ever write a joke like that.īut back to the filmmaker. I might have let the joke slip by unanalyzed if it weren’t for how he went into lengthy detail about the years of insecurity he’d suffered because of his tiny penis, confessing that he special-orders tiny condoms online, because even the smallest condoms available in stores are too baggy and just slip off. But then came the scene where his character made a joke about having a small dick. Look how cute he looks, moving around, and saying things like that!, I thought to myself while trying to imagine him naked. I went, and actually got butterflies in my stomach while watching him on the big screen. ![]() After months of flirtation, he finally invited me to the screening of a short film that he’d written, directed, and starred in. It was a few years ago (I've changed a few small details to protect his identity), and I had a crush on a 28-year-old filmmaker who frequented the bar I worked in. Like most women, I carry around my own small-penis story, to be shared at moments precisely like this. ![]()
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